Becoming open to new ways of thinking allows new possibilities to enter your life.
I used to hear people say, “I don’t want an open mind because it gets filled with a bunch of garbage.” But to open the way for a new way of being, we must let go of our old mental habits and beliefs. Allow yourself to take a chance on the possibility that what you think you know could be wrong and things differ from what you believe them to be.
Start with yourself. Think of your most negative trait that you know is true. One that was an early programming works best. Fill in the blank with the negative assumption about yourself. I am _____. Then, ask yourself if you believe that. Then ask yourself what if the opposite was true? What does it feel like to affirm the opposite?
Think of the opposite quality. If you said, “I am lazy”, you would look to something that is the opposite, like productive, active, energized or something like that. Be open to believing that the opposite could be true. You might be the opposite of lazy but have just not accepted that attribute simply because it was not part of your beliefs. Once you accept the opposite could be true, you will see yourself in a new light. You may see perhaps you have some lazy moments, but the truth is you are active and productive most times.
Shifting your belief shifts your experience.
If you applied this to experiences, then it would go like this, “the worst thing that ever happened to me was ____.” Let’s say it was a car accident with difficult long-term injuries and loss of livelihood and so on. Suffering through that kind of experience is devastating. But that is not all it is. Let’s turn it over and look at it from the underside. What if the opposite were true? Could the accident be the best thing that ever happened to you? It might be it took you out of a toxic relationship and a job you hated to give you a new life with a loving partner. Once you can see the accident as beneficial, you can learn to apply this to things that are less obviously difficult, like a late payment, or an annoying neighbor.
Whatever you see as detrimental in your life, turn it on its head to find something positive you gained from it. Do this mental exercise, not to fool yourself, but to see what it feels like to look at it differently. The neighbor may annoy you, but what if you re getting something out of it? You may not think of how it improves your life in the physical world, but what does it do to your inner world? Does it make you feel indignation? Do you feel somehow superior to the person causing trouble? What does that do to your self esteem? It may validate your feelings of being a good person because at least you are not an annoying neighbor. Therefore, the benefit would be to feed the ego with feelings of superiority. You may not benefit from having an annoying neighbor, but it can satisfy and boost your ego.
Believing that everything that happens is a blessing helps us understand ourselves better and gain benefits from every event.
You maybe think it is some kind of betrayal to see the benefit of suffering. Like, the suffering was so horrible that there was no way to feel good about it. Feeling good is not the point. We often ask, “why did this happen?” Or, “How could God let this happen?” If we cling to belief that it was bad, we will never get an answer. We will suffer in victimhood waste the experience.
To see beyond the tragedy is to honor the experience and not become a victim because of it.
Difficult situations repeat until understood as gifts. The universe will repeat the experience until we grow out of it. The quickest way to grow out of it is to shift how we perceive it. If we can see any benefit at all, we heal. Healing ends the cycle and we are free to live a new way.
This isn’t positive thinking.
This is a shifting of belief just enough to accept that another truth may be present. If you can't see the benefits of your financial struggles, positive affirmations and good feelings won't change money problems long-term. But seeing your struggles as supporting your goals instead of hindering them will.
There is no permanence to belief. It is a tool to understand your individuality and function in the world. Once you use your beliefs to build self-awareness and change your life, you can heal and break dysfunctional or toxic cycles.
The world’s magnificent possibilities are available to you by looking beyond the pain and finding the gift.
By Janet Kadow
More at www.janetkadow.com