Forgiving another for the trauma they inflicted does not let them off the hook.
Forgiving another for the trauma they inflicted does not let them off the hook. The Law of Reflection states what they do will come back to them, amplified. They cannot escape paying for the pain they inflicted on you. What they have done will come back to them, more horrific than they gave to you. In this life or the next, they will pay until the cycle is complete and balance is regained.
In some belief systems, this means that to right the wrong, you will be karmically connected to this person. Therefore, you must play a part in the events that correct the trauma.
You will be connected to this person who inflicted harm on you. In most cases, you will meet and play out a version of events over lifetimes until the balance is restored.
I don't know anyone wishing to be karmically connected to their abuser or rapist. Genuine, authentic, and absolute forgiveness is the only way to stop *your part* in the cycle. Then, whatever happens to them will not involve you.
Forgiveness activates the Law of Grace. Grace supersedes the Law of Reflection and any karmic consequences. When we forgive, we are in harmony with Grace, and the karmic cycle is considered complete.
But how to get there? When the pain runs deep, so does the wound. It can take a great deal of self-reflection, therapy, and a genuine desire to heal, to get to a place of authentic forgiveness.
You can start by making peace with the event. Review how it has changed you and how it has created the life you live now. How do you help others or allow others to help you? Understand the consequential effects on your life the event or person had. Take it all into account. The good (the help you received or gave others) or the bad like the PTSD affects over time, your loss of trust in others, your fear of more harm coming to you, and so on.
Once you have taken some time with your review, see how your being, *you*, helped you through it. Through your strength and insight, through your wisdom and courage, your attributes carried you through to live another day. This is because you have not given in or given up.
Then think of those who have supported you, listened, encouraged, helped, and relieved you of the burden of your trauma.
For your gifts of strength and the support of others, tune into the powerful feeling of gratitude. Let gratitude fill you up, and send it out again and again.
Once you get to gratitude, you can be at peace with the event, trauma, or person.
This process may take some time, even years, and therapy is excellent help on the road to peace. Once you have reached a place of peace with the trauma, you can move on to forgiveness.
Once you reach the place of peace through gratitude, you may mentally invoke the person at fault for your trauma. Take a moment to think of them and ask yourself if you are ready to forgive them authentically. If so, do it, and you will be free from the cycle that could carry on for many lifetimes. Of course, they will have to face the consequences of their actions, but you will no longer be karmically attached to their lives ever again. The karma on your end will be complete.
Sometimes, the relationship has to go on because of ties beyond your control. You will find this practice helps you to navigate the relationship in peace. If you still have to deal with them as a parent of your child or your own parent, for example, their presence will have little to no influence on you.
You will be truly free.
Will they be free? You won't even care.